Ecumen Changing Aging Poll: Do You Think Alzheimer’s Will Be Cured in Your Lifetime?
Four years after the debut of the Emmy-winning 'The Forgetting,' Public Television (The Forgetting was produced by Twin Cities Public Television) is re-airing the original on Sunday, with an additional 30-minute segment hosted by David Hyde Pierce, better known as TV Frasier’s persnickety brother Niles (Pierce’s father and grandfather had the disease.).
Take Our Changing Aging Poll
Almost 10% of Americans over 65 now have the disease, leading us to this poll question:[poll id='2']
New Study Says Adults With Dementia Don’t Like Being Spoken to as Babies … . You’re Kidding Me?
So today there’s a headline I received from a University of Kansas study, and I don’t know about you, but I found it disturbing that we even have such a study …Conducted by researchers at the University of Kansas, the study found that cognitively impaired people react badly when spoken to as if they were infants. Researchers videotaped 20 people with moderate dementia to discover their reactions to demeaning dialogue. Adults who were talked down to were twice as likely to resist care - by crying out, hitting, kicking, yelling or other methods - than those who were spoken to as adults.The article about the study went on to say that when they are spoken to in elderspeak,' they may feel they are not getting the respect they feel they deserve, but are unable to communicate their distress, so they act out in disruptive ways.Elderspeak? Baby Talk? People are people and should be treated with the utmost dignity, even when their mind suffers from dementia … your thoughts?
How Old? July 29, 2008
Actor Robert Hanson (Wagon Train') is 84.Neal Doughty of REO Speedwagon is 62.Geddy Lee, singer in Rush, is 55.Documentary maker Ken Burns is 55.And Patti Scialfa with Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band is 55.
Register for the Ecumen Age Wave Event by Aug. 6th
For our Twin Cities-area readers:If you’d like to sign up for the Age Wave event we’re hosting on August 13th, please sign up by August 6th here.Ecumen, the Citizens League, 2020 Conference and Minnesota Chamber of Commerce are hosting Nebraska State Treasurer Shane Osborne and Trent Fellers, who directs Nebraska’s new Long-Term Care Savings Plan. They will share details of Nebraska’s new tax deferred savings plan for long-term care. It’s the first and only savings plan of its kind in the country.The event is from 8-9 a.m. on Aug 13th. Continental breakfast will be provided. And it’s free. Ecumen CEO Kathryn Roberts will provide introductory remarks. It will be held at the Wilder Foundation’s new headquarters right between Minneapolis and Saint Paul.
How Old?, July 28, 2008: Mick Jagger Celebrates 65
Actually, Mick hit 65 yesterday, but we’re going to throw him in today’s birthday list.Others celebrating today, include:Keyboardist Rick Wright of Pink Floyd is 65.Garfield cartoonist Jim Davis is 63.Actress Linda Kelsey (Lou Grant) and Twin Cities-area resident is 62.Singer Jonathon Edwards is 62.And actress Sally Struthers is celebrating 60.
Secrets of Living Beyond 100 - A Blue Zone in New Richmond, Wisconsin
Dan Buettner should have gone to New Richmond, Wis.Buettner has created a company called Blue Zones, which is selling the 'product' of longevity. He’s traveled to a bunch of countries to learn 'secrets of longevity' and keys to living longer. The Blue Zones web site says they’ve developed a program to help you feel better, look younger, and avoid 70% of the diseases that will kill you before your timeWe didn’t travel to Sardinia or Taiwan. Instead we went across the river to Wisconsin and talked with one of Ecumen’s customers 106-year-old Marion Davidson. What she told us echos some of what Buettner and other longevity researchers have said, but it also doesn’t:- Forget the Red Wine: We’ve all heard about how red wine is beneficial. Marion never drank it. She said she had alcohol once and got sick and said 'never again.'- Exercise, Never Did it: Marion isn’t big on exercise like Ecumen customer Hardy Rickbeil. Never has been.Diet? Marion has always eaten what she’s always wanted to eat. No special diets. She even admitted as a kid she sometimes at the fertile dirt of Forest Lake, Minn.A Very Religious Person: This is where Marion does connect with some of the research done by various longevity researchers. Marion is an extremely religious person. She loves a great sermon.Likes Optimism: Her two favorite presidents during her lifetime? New Deal inventor FDR and Ronald Regan.Marion will soon be 107.
How Old? July 25, 2008
Actress Estelle Getty, who died on Tuesday, and played the octogenarian mother on Golden Girls, would have been 85 today.Bassist Verdine White of Earth, Wind and Fire is 57.Supermodel Iman is 53.Cartoonist Ray Billingsley (Curtis') is 51.Guitarist Thurston Moore of Sonic Youth is 50.
Interview With Author Kari Berit: The Unexpected Caregiver
Kari Berit Discusses The Unexpected Caregiver
More than 30 million Americans are caring for someone over the age of 50. And many of them find themselves to be unexpected caregivers. The Unexpected Caregiver is a new book by Kari Berit, who has been a family caregiver and worked with older adults for nearly two decades in a variety of aging services and senior housing settings. Kari is an author, speaker and consultant who takes on elephant-in-the-room issues of caregiving and aging in a way that leaves her audiences saying, 'Thank You.' Changing Aging recently sat down with Kari to discuss her new book:
What were your goals in writing your book?
Several. One: Family caregivers don’t always consider the impact of taking care of their parents-it will bring families together and tear them apart at the same time. One of my goals was to help raise awareness of caregiving as a new role, an additional role. Many times a daughter will stop by her mom’s house after work, drop off a few groceries, and not consider this a new role. Soon she’s trying to figure out how to take an extra lunch break so she can take Mom to the doctor or pick up her medications using her own money. We need to recognize the role and then ask ourselves how we want to play it out, knowing, of course, that we can’t plan for everything. We are only in charge of how we respond to this new role.Two: We need to recognize how our past relationships to our parents (and family) and try new ways of connecting. When I worked as a professional caregiver, it was easy to get to know the residents for who they were presently. For families, it’s too easy to get caught up in what Mom or Dad used to be like, becoming frustrated when they aren’t as sharp or physically fit as they once were. In my book, I encourage you to get to know your parents for who they are today. Learn about generational differences, communication challenges and ways to understand past relationships and move into new, updated, adult relationships.Three: Too often we don’t know how to talk about elephant issues, such as end-of-life wishes or money. I wanted to present ways to ease into those trickier conversations. As an activity director, I was often challenged with reaching residents through creative ways. In my book, I share some of these ideas and offer them as ways to create richer, more meaningful connections with your parents, and also dive into those touchy subjects.Fourth: I wanted to share my professional and personal insights. As a society, we will be relying on family and informal caregivers more than ever. We need information, insight and training. The Unexpected Caregiver can help new and seasoned caregivers, by presenting ideas that bring out creativity, humor and much love.
What are some of the 'difficult' questions you address that people often don’t know where to get insights?
How to talk about loneliness, death, making a move; how to encourage your parents to get outside themselves, how to communicate, understand family and generational differences; how to work with someone with dementia, to be present in your parents end of life; how to talk about the 'stuff' and how to retain yourself, while being a caregiving for your parents, to name a few.
You talk about 'play' being an important part of the caregiving experience, what do you mean by that?
If you’re not connected to kids or animals on a daily basis, it’s sometimes difficult to give yourself permission to play. When we play, we’re in the present moment. We’re not worrying about 'what ifs' or 'should haves.'Much of playing has to do with letting go and we need to let go of a lot of negative self-talk when we give care. Many of us aren’t trained, yet we’re so hard on ourselves for not doing it 'right.' Let go of what others will think. Let go of the negative self-talk or your fears of appearing silly. Often, silly is the point of the exercise. That voice in your head saying, 'I don’t have time for this kind of foolishness,' or 'It’s too late to try something new,' is really just fear of embarrassment talking.If you are someone who dares to try new things, who can and does play like no one is watching, you’ll find you have a better attitude and more energy for your caregiving activities, as well as for your family and the 'rest of your life.' Plus, you’ll be a positive influence on your parents whenever they’re feeling that there’s no fun left in life. Live light-hearted and know that play is good for the heart, soul and brain-yours and theirs.
At the end of caregiving comes death. Can caregiving have a happy ending?
Often there comes a time when the caregiver says, 'I just wish Dad would die, so I can get on with my life.' Generally, they feel guilty after expressing this, but there is a sense of truth to the statement. It’s not meant maliciously, but rather, a voiced recognition of a feeling and yearning to return to 'normal.' If the caregiver is able to be fully present through the dying process, caregiving can certainly have a gratifying ending. I’m not sure 'happy' is the correct word, but being able to walk with someone-especially a parent-at the end of their life is a true gift.There is a sense of emptiness that comes with death. No longer is the caregiver’s life directed by the needs of another. It’s easy to miss that and feel like your life, sans the caregiving role, is devoid of meaning. No longer are you needed, and that can feel lonely. I’ve found that caregivers who have recently lost a loved one often turn to helping others. While this is a good thing, it’s also a good thing to take time to recharge your own batteries. Caregiving is taxing. It takes a great amount of energy and I often suggest down time after a death.
What can professional caregivers take from this book?
The original ideas came from my work as a professional caregiver, so the book is very applicable to this group. Professional caregivers gain creative insights in how to make quicker, richer connections. They also gain a better understanding of the family dynamics that take place. Professional caregivers can struggle to understand why someone’s mom or dad is in assisted living or skilled care; 'Why can’t the family take care of them?' they ask. Reading my book helps professionals connect back to their own family systems and remember that it isn’t always easy to care for a family member.There are also ideas of how to reach out to families, use mental fitness cards and children’s books to start conversations with residents. I include a primer on dementia and using music to encourage professional caregivers to give of themselves as they care. I’ve used the book in professional training and also suggest giving this book to family members as a gift, a way to say, 'we care and want to help you become a better caregiver.'
Can you describe for our readers the characteristics of what comprises a good caregiving experience - both for the caregiver and the person receiving care?
If you’re willing to let go, be present, you give a huge gift to your care receiver and to yourself. We run around being busy for most of our days and with caregiving comes the opportunity to slow down...it’s up to us to accept the gift.If you’re willing to laugh at yourself as you make mistakes in caregiving, knowing you’re learning a new job, you’ll be a good caregiver.If you’re able to learn new things, use creativity, listen to others, you’ll make a good caregiver.Mostly, it’s about love. If you’re giving care out of love, you’ll always be a good caregive
How Old? July 24, 2008
Celebrating another year today:Comedian Ruth Buzzi is 72.Actor Mark Goddard (Lost in Space) is 72.Comedian Gallagher is 62.Actor Robert Hays (played Ted Striker in Airplane)Superwoman' Lynda Carter is 57.
Dayswithmyfather.com
Thank you to Changing Aging reader and interviewee Dr. Brent Ridge of Martha Stewart Living who shared with us a very moving, authentic, up-close photo essay done by one of his friends on caring with a father with Alzheimer’s. View it here at www.dayswithmyfather.com.Media always talk about women being caregivers - and statistics show that they do the bulk of family caregiving. That’s going to have to change pronto for the Age Wave, especially with so many dual-career couples. Men have to get with it. Kudos to this son.