Until Long-Term Care Do Us Part . . . It Shouldn't Be This Way
Nicholas Kristof, N.Y. Times columnist, had a thought-provoking, heart-wrenching story from America's fragmented long-term care "system." See excerpt below. Do any of you know people who have faced this? If so, would you share your story in the comments below . . . thank you.
My friend M. — you’ll understand in a moment why she’s terrified of my using her name — had to make a searing decision a year ago. She was married to a sweet, gentle man whom she loved, but who had become increasingly absent-minded. Finally, he was diagnosed with early-onset dementia.
The disease is degenerative, and he will become steadily less able to care for himself. At some point, as his medical needs multiply, he will probably need to be institutionalized.
The hospital arranged a conference call with a social worker, who outlined how the dementia and its financial toll on the family would progress, and then added, out of the blue: “Maybe you should divorce.”
“I was blown away,” M. told me. But, she said, the hospital staff members explained that they had seen it all before, many times. If M.’s husband required long-term care, the costs would be catastrophic even for a middle-class family with savings.
Eventually, after the expenses whittled away their combined assets, her husband could go on Medicaid — but by then their children’s nest egg would be gone, along with her 401(k) plan. She would face a bleak retirement with neither her husband nor her savings.
A complicating factor was that this was a second marriage. M.’s first husband had died, leaving an inheritance that he had intended for their children. She and her second husband had a prenuptial agreement, but that would not protect her assets from his medical expenses.
The hospital told M. not to waste time in dissolving the marriage. For five years after any divorce, her assets could be seized — precisely because the government knows that people sometimes divorce husbands or wives to escape their medical bills.
“How could I divorce him? I loved him,” she told me.
“I explored a lot of options with an attorney here in town,” she added. “The attorney said, ‘I don’t see any other options for you.’ It took about a year for me to do the divorce, it was so hard.”
So M. divorced the man she loves. I asked him what he thought of this. He can still speak, albeit not always coherently, and he paused a long, long time. All he could manage was: “It’s hard to say.”
September Vital Aging Network Forum: Alzheimer's Awareness
September VAN Forum
Alzheimer's Awareness: What can you do to prevent, understand, and treat dementia?
Tuesday, September 8, 2009 Featured Speakers:
Catherine Johnson, Licensed Psychologist, Associated Clinic of Psychology
Lori La Bey, Alzheimer's Speaks
Have you ever forgotten where you parked your car? Is it normal aging or an early sign on Alzheimer's? Catherine Johnson will help us sort it out. You will learn:
- Characteristics of normal, healthy aging.
- Lifestyle strategies to prevent cognitive decline.
- How to detect signs and symptoms of dementia to support early diagnosis.
- Ways to enhance the therapeutic response to dementia treatments.
As Lori La Bey struggled with her mother's diagnosis, she experienced first hand the effects Alzheimer's can have on one's life. Through story telling, she will give you practical tips and techniques for dealing with dementia. You will learn how to identify stress triggers, reduce combative behaviors, create remarkable moments, and diminish the turbulence as you walk through the maze of Alzheimer's disease.
Questions? Call VAN at 651-917-4652
The White House's Aging Czar (er. Leader) Kathy Greenlee
When I think of Czars, I think of Russia. I wish we'd stop calling our public officials czars . . . Anyway, I copied the word from Matt Sedensky, Associated Press reporter on aging, who recently interviewed Kathy Greenlee, assistant secretary for aging in the Department of Health and Human Services. Pictured above to the left, she's the country's top political appointee on issues facing an aging America.
A couple of key points from her remarks:
- "Aging is such a unifying topic," she said. [She's so right, we're all doing it.]
- Among the issues Greenlee is most passionate about is keeping seniors in their homes and communities, if they choose, and out of nursing homes, which most want to avoid.
- "To move forward and expand community services, we have to have a whole lot of things happen in each individual state." [Minnesota is primed to lead the nation on long-term care innovation; we've led in health care before, and I have no doubt that if we put our minds and willpower together, we'll be a state that can show the way for the rest of the country in aging.]
You can read Matt's full interview here.
The CLASS Act: Senator Kennedy's Last Act
“We know the future will outlast all of us, but I believe that all of us will live on in the future we make,”
- Senator Ted Kennedy
Before Senator Kennedy died, he contributed The CLASS Act, legislation that would empower people with long-term care needs. By including that legislation in health care reform, Congress can honor the Lion of the Senate and make a future that is improved for those of us living in it.
Onward.
Hurricane Hazel, the 88-year old mayor of 6th largest city in Canada
Hazel McCallion has been mayor of Mississauga Ontario, population 668,000, since 1978. When she was re-elected in 2006 for her 11th consecutive term, it was with 98% voter approval. She is affectionately known as "Hurricane Hazel" by the media and supporters alike for her fresh, outspoken style and no-nonsense approach to politics. Her method is grounded in the belief that a city ought to be run like a business. Thanks to this business model approach, Mississauga is one of the few debt-free cities in Canada. Hazel sees her Christian faith as a guide to her concern for the public good, as well as the source for her physical energy. She likes to be independent and take care of her household herself: "I do my own cleaning, grocery shopping, gardening…the assumption is that people in my position have others doing all these things for them but I like to be self sufficient. Housework and gardening are great forms of exercise and keep one humble."
Enjoy this YouTube of her Honor, Mayor McCallion - she evens plays hockey!
~Helen Rickman
New Ideas for Long-Term Care: Kathryn Roberts and Howard Gleckman Discuss
Listen to the Minnesota Public Radio discussion on long-term care with Ecumen CEO Kathryn Roberts and Howard Gleckman, author of Caring for Our Parents and senior researcher at The Urban Institute.
Senator Klobuchar and other Policymakers Talking Long-Term Care
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A sign of the age wave: Policymakers are beginning to talk about long-term care. Senator Klobuchar is hosting a series of town hall meetings in Minnesota on the subject to discuss recent bills she's introduced. Ecumen CEO Kathryn Roberts (pictured above with the Senator) participated in yesterday's discussion in Saint Paul.
Also, as we discussed earlier, Minnesota Gubernatorial candidate Paul Thissen has made the age wave a key part of his platform. You can see his recent video here.
Jack LaLanne Was Right, By Dr. Patrick Roden
No, very few of us can have a body like lifetime fitness buff Jack LaLanne, but Dr. Patrick Roden at the blog Home By Choice says Jack is right when it comes to aging in place . . . Don't forget the body.
A Marijuana Collective in a California Senior Community
It's been more than a dozen years since California became the first state in the nation to legalize marijuana for medical use. In some California cities, cannabis dispensaries are springing up like, well, weeds.
But in more conservative communities, patients have a harder time finding legal marijuana. That difficulty has led a group of seniors in Orange County to start setting up a pot collective in their luxury retirement community.
You can access the National Public Radio story here.
My Mother's Death Panel
Very insightful post - My Mother's Death Panel - related to the national health care "discussion" (shout fest) from Larry Minnix, president and CEO of the American Association of Homes and Services for the Aging. He blogs at The Future of Aging.