Baby Boomers' Last Wishes: Motorcycle Hearses And Facebook Obits
by Peter Gray
January 04, 2013 5:58 PM
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Lew Bird says that before passing away, his friend requested that his funeral include one last ride on a motorcycle. Enlarge image
Lew Bird says that before passing away, his friend requested that his funeral include one last ride on a motorcycle.
Peter Gray for NPR
Old Aristocracy Hill isn't a part of Springfield, Ill., that draws a lot of attention. The quiet neighborhood dates back to before the Civil War, its historic homes now carefully preserved by proud business owners.
But outside a stately funeral home, a large black-and-chrome Harley Davidson motorcycle trike pulls out of the parking lot, towing a matching casket in its glass-sided trailer.
It's not something you would expect to see, but it's exactly what 67-year-old Lew Bird says his friend Dave Rondelli wanted: one last ride.
"Our generation, the baby boomers, have really taken to motorcycles. We're retiring, and we can afford to do that kind of thing," Bird says. "He loved it. He retired, and he rode his bike a lot. You know, guess if you're going to go out, go out the way you like to go."
Chris Butler, director of Butler Funeral Home, says he bought the motorcycle funeral coach because his customers are increasingly seeking a highly personal and unique experience. Funeral customs and rituals, he adds, tend to evolve with time and reflect the culture in which they're practiced.
"Today people are wanting very much [for] their ceremonies to reflect their life, the meaning of their life," Butler explains. "So we can offer families the traditional as well as unique options for remembering their loved one."
He also says posting an obituary on his company's Facebook page is another option to get funeral information out to the community quickly. But not everyone in the business agrees it's a good idea.
Randall Earl, former president of The National Funeral Directors Association, which tracks trends in the industry, has been in the business for 40 years and holds concerns about some of the innovations, including utilizing social media in the funeral planning and grieving process.
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"It can be very harmful if you have family members who are angry with other family members and they have a death," Earl says.
He maintains that it's just too difficult to control what's said and done by mourners on social media platforms.
"I would say we're just trying to protect our business as well as the families we serve, and I do not have a Twitter or Facebook for those reasons," Earl explains.
Others, like Greg Young, argue that protecting families and social media don't have to be mutually exclusive. The 32-year-old entrepreneur, who left his job at IBM five years ago to launch funeralinnovations.com, maintains that careful use of social media can vastly improve a memorial experience, while upholding an appropriate level of privacy.
"Every funeral home needs to have their own strategy; there's no cookie-cutter approach," Young says. "There may be some times that you do not want to post the obituary, and we do have those cases that we work with."
Young's company sells Web, mobile and social media marketing, and believes that, like so many other things, the future of funeral planning will rely on tablets and smartphones. As families scatter across the globe, he says that often the best way for his clients to connect with mourners may well indeed be online.
"We're really starting to push webcasting, which has been out there for years, but funeral homes typically have not accepted it," Young explains. "We think it's very important to preserve that moment, so that generations to come can easily come back and access that information and learn more about their ancestors."
All of the recent innovations — webcasting for genealogy, Facebook pages for grieving families, mobile devices to plan a funeral or find an obituary, even a motorcycle hearse — may or may not stand the test of time.
But what's clear is that whatever changes endure will likely be those sought by baby boomers, who continue to drive consumer trends in life and in death.
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Our country spends trillions on disjointed, poorly coordinated care, especially for older Americans. The unneccesary bouncebacks that occur between the hospital and a person's home take a lot out of a person and their families. Imagine if physicians and consumers and caregivers could talk with each other and easily share information, instead of wasting time, putting people through unpleasant hospital stays, weakening them further and spending tons of money that could be used in a much better way for the health of Americans. This new video by LeadingAge depicts what that future could look like. This issue is solveable by combining high tech and high touch approaches as seen here.
Nonprofit marks 150 years, but last 10 a doozy
Kathryn Roberts, president & CEO, and Steve Ordahl, senior vice president of business development, celebrated Ecumen’s 150th anniversary at a gala last month.
A Personal Emergency Response System Designed by You
A PERS (Personal Emergency Response System) device empowers older adults with security and independence, honoring their desire to live in their own homes. A group of PERS device companies are looking for your input to design the next generation of this product. If you are 55 or older, we would be grateful if you would take their three-minute survey. Your confidential responses will help these companies gain greater insight on what consumers want in a PERS device.
At Ecumen, our promise to innovate, empower and honor is also an expectation of our partners and the products they bring to our customers and communities. Help us shape the future of this product, and help people who want to remain living in their own homes. We thank you in advance for taking the time to complete the survey.
https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/LinkAge2012
Nonprofits Need Your Help
In their search for ways to avoid the “fiscal cliff,” United States Congress is considering capping or eliminating tax deductions for charitable giving. In Ecumen's home state of Minnesota, 5,000 nonprofit organizations receive $3 billion in charitable contributions annually. Reducing or eliminating charitable deductions could create a cascading series of devastating fiscal cliffs across the Minnesota and the rest of the country.
Join Ecumen in supporting charitable giving deductions, empowering nonprofits to continue their important work. Contact your legislators today and let them know you oppose capping or eliminating deductions for charitable giving.
1. Call 888-277-8686 to leave a message letting your member of Congress know that you oppose capping or eliminating charitable tax deductions.
2. Send an email to your member of Congress. Click on Ecumen's Advocacy Alert for instructions.
Read the StarTribune article, “Solving 'fiscal cliff' puts charity writeoffs at risk,” and see LeadingAge advocacy feature, “Fiscal Cliff Call-In: Capping Charitable Giving Deduction Is Not The Solution,” for more insight on this issue.
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At Ecumen, we are honored to work with and care for people who live with the substantial challenges of Alzheimer's and dementia. Two Twin Cities communities (Woodbury and Minnetonka) now have had residents say they don't want people with Alzheimer's living near them. How do you feel? Learn more at the Minneapolis Star Tribune and weigh in.
Honoring Veterans
On the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month of 1918, an armistice, or temporary cessation of hostilities, was declared between the Allied nations and Germany in the First World War, then known as "the Great War." Commemorated as Armistice Day beginning the following year, November 11th became a legal federal holiday in the United States in 1938. In the aftermath of World War II and the Korean War, Armistice Day became Veterans Day, a holiday dedicated to American veterans of all wars.
This Veterans Day, Minnesotans will gather to show their respect and gratitude to the millions of Americans who have sacrificed on our behalf since the birth of our great nation. At ceremonies and parades across the nation, veterans from every generation will be honored. This includes members of the Greatest Generation, heroes who stormed the beaches at Normandy and the South Pacific to liberate millions from tyranny. It also includes those who defended freedom in Korea and Vietnam, as well as our current generation of heroes who have fought terrorism in Afghanistan, Iraq and around the world.
Ecumen has the distinct honor and privilege of serving veterans and their loved ones throughout the many Ecumen communities across Minnesota and other states. As the Senior Vice President of Operations, I have had the privilege of meeting many of these heroes and their family members. It is a humbling experience to listen to the stories and share in the conversations. I also would like to acknowledge and pay a tribute to the many Ecumen employees who served our country and now partner to serve our 12,000+ customers every year.
We often hear "freedom is not free," and I believe this to be true. Don't wait until November 11th to thank a veteran or their family for their service and sacrifices. Our nation owes a debt of gratitude to our veterans and every day should be viewed as Veterans Day across our great nation.
As we innovate, empower and honor in our work at Ecumen, we take this moment to express our gratitude and honor the nearly 50 service men and women who work at Ecumen communities, and all of the veterans in the Ecumen family.
Share Your Veteran Story or Tribute
This Veterans Day, Ecumen invites you to honor a veteran with your story or tribute. Join us in saluting The Greatest Generation - and all generations - who have helped make America the greatest country in the world! Go to https://ecumen.org/honor/.
There's No Place Like Home -- Ecumen Celebrates 150 Years
There's No Place Like Home
Ecumen's 150th Gala celebration, in pictures. See full story, below.
Ecumen's "150 Years" graphics embedded in a beautiful ice sculpture, which chilled the Emerald Slippers as they coursed through the ice block and into waiting goblets.
Ecumen Board of Trustees members Debbie Cervenka (Chair of Philanthropy Committee) and Loanne Thrane (with husband Ralph) enjoying the gala festivities.
Gala organizer and Ecumen's Director of Philanthropy Stacey Minnick (three cheers, Stacey!) and Dana Wollschlager, Ecumen's Director of Real Estate Development. Having a good time.
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The Great Hall, minutes before the celebration.
Guests mingled as they perused the unique, one-of-a-kind creations by leading Minnesota artists featured in the "Imagine Home" silent auction, enjoyed hors d'oeuvres by CRAVE, sampled an "Emerald Slipper," the event's signature cocktail, and experienced a soulful performance by VocalEssence, led by visionary director and founder Philip Brunelle. Proceeds from the gala will help support Ecumen's Awakenings initiative, a groundbreaking new approach to Alzheimer’s care focused upon moving people away from unnecessary use of antipsychotic medications and awakening them to living as fully as possible.
Following are Kathryn's remarks from the event.
Good evening. It is so wonderful to see each of you. Thank you so very much for sharing this milestone with us and for your generous support of our mission to create home for older adults wherever they choose to live.
As you might have read in the Star Tribune this week, our mission is backed by 150 years of care. It all began when Lutheran missionaries sheltered children orphaned in the U.S.-Dakota War of 1862. As a new century dawned, we moved into senior services in 1904. We were known in the 20th Century as the Board of Christian Service and then the Board of Social Ministry.
Entering the 21st Century, we embarked on a new path, a path of transforming senior services and creating a new future and new possibilities in aging. That path was marked by a new name – Ecumen. Ecumen, like the phrase Ecumenical, is derived from the Greek word for home. Our name underscores our mission to create home and that our front doors are open wide for new collaborations, new possibilities and new solutions that make lives better.
Ecumen’s work is changing aging. It has to. We’re all growing older. And we’re doing it at an unprecedented rate. In just 7 years, Minnesota will have more seniors than children – a first.
I see incredible opportunity for innovation in aging. In the last decade, our work has included the largest expansion of housing in our history; it’s led to growing at-home services that will continue to evolve; it’s led to work beyond the borders of Minnesota, and it’s leading to many new people supporting and helping us transform the aging experience. I’d like to share how your generous support this evening is Changing Aging:
Until the 1970s, the phrase Alzheimer’s was largely isolated to medical journals. Today more than 100,000 Minnesotans have Alzheimer’s. Without a cure, nearly half of people who reach age 80 will have Alzheimer’s or other form of dementia.
The culture of Alzheimer’s care in America has often resulted in the inappropriate long-term use of antipsychotic drugs. These medications are used to control verbal or physical outbursts that can occur with Alzheimer’s. Inappropriate long-term use of these drugs can lead to a person living life in a stupor, devoid of human emotion. In a sense, they’re put asleep.
Our work of changing aging means seeing things differently. Where some see Alzheimer’s, we see beautiful human beings. Several years ago we began working in partnership with a leading physician to see if we could change this culture of Alzheimer’s care. We started emphasizing non-pharmaceutical approaches, such as exercise, storytelling, aroma therapy, and teaching family members how to identify triggers to behavioral changes. This approach focuses on a person’s abilities and possibilities, not simply disabilities.
We’ve named this initiative “Awakenings,” because through this whole-person approach we have seen people awaken from a drug-induced stupor. We’ve dramatically reduced the use of anti-psychotic medications at Ecumen. And, most importantly, we’ve made lives better.
You can see that improvement in Joan in Two Harbors who now participates in balloon volleyball while smiling and laughing.
You can see it in Helen in Mankato. Helen’s care team learned from her family that she had had a favorite cat named Whitey. Upon leaving for World War II, her husband had given it to her to keep her company. Learning this, an Ecumen care professional shared a toy white cat with Helen as a gift and asked to learn more about Whitey. Helen adored that cat. Her outbursts subsided. By learning about Helen, and finding a source of her joy, we helped her find peace.
Our Awakenings pilot received a $3.8 million grant from the State of Minnesota’s Department of Human Services to measure the success of this work and lessons that can be applied elsewhere. Changing Aging means building on this work, providing training to others and transforming the culture of Alzheimer’s care. I’d like to applaud the people at Ecumen who have taken Awakenings from an idea to a reality and applaud each of you who have helped us raise $100,000 this evening for Awakenings.
In conclusion, I say thank you. Thank you so very much for celebrating with us and for honoring our mission to create home for older adults wherever they choose to live and our commitment to creating the future of aging for you, me and those we love. We’re all aging. And, with your support, the best is yet to come. Thank you.