A New Look on Aging: Carol’s Beauty of Aging Show
Our culture hasn’t always placed the highest value on the aging process; wrinkles and grey hair seem to be things to cover up rather than take pride in.Carol Seefeldt, an artist and volunteer at the Ecumen community of Parmly LifePointes, sees aging in a different light and wanted to show others just how beautiful aging can be. Her 'Beauty of Aging' art show is a gift to those people and the community she enjoys.The exhibit at Parmly LifePointes runs through this month. The exhibit showcases photos of people we serve engaged in their everyday activities, which range from enjoying the relationships of friends to using Vitalize! Wellness Center. Carol stresses that engagement in life can be seen in the sparkle in one’s eye, in a smile, or a conversation.Thank you, Carol. <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:''; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family:'Times New Roman';} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} -->
The Gift of Parents: Looking Ahead to a Celebration
In addition to aging, another thing we all have in common is dying. Atlanta reader Susan Landis (and mother of Ecumen director of real estate developement Dana Wollschlager), who works in aging services, recently shared this story that a lot of people can relate to. Aging is all about living … even when you’re thinking about the end of life …
Susan Landis with her parents Robert and Bette Ryff.
My father is describing how he met my mother, the love of his life for over 60 years. 'The first time I saw her was at a USO dance,' he says. 'I could see her dancing with this guy. He was a terrible dancer. I thought I better save her from this guy she’s dancing with,' his New York accent coming through.My mother chimes in, 'My girlfriend and I had just moved to Seattle and I met him the first day I was there.' We met in May and were married in November.'I’ve heard this story a thousand times before. The story is not for me though; it’s for the funeral consultant we are meeting with. 'Wow,' says the consultant, 'you didn’t know each other very long before you married. You’re lucky it all worked out.''Yes,' Mom says, 'I guess staying together for 63 years could be called lucky.'Everyone laughs. Things are going better than I thought they would when I picked up my parents this afternoon for a trip to the cemetery. Let’s face it; planning your funeral is not the most pleasant way to spend a Sunday afternoon. When she gets into the car, Mom says she started to feel sick just before I got there; kind of nauseous and dizzy.'You know,' she says,' most of the time I just don’t think about it, dying I mean. You just kind of forget about it. When I felt bad just now I realized it really is going to happen someday. We are going to die.''I know what you mean.' I respond.And I do know exactly what she means. It’s so easy to just push thoughts like that to the back of your mind. After all, you don’t want to dwell on those kinds of thoughts. It would be morbid and depressing. It’s easy because we are so busy with work or family or just the everyday activities of cleaning, shopping, cooking etc. And the time just flies by. Suddenly I am 61 and my parents are in their eighties and I cannot imagine a world without these loving, generous, kind, funny people in it.I have mapquested our little journey. I’m relatively new to Georgia and our destination is over 50 miles away. Mom rides shotgun and is the navigator. She’s always been good at reading maps. I am more like my father and we are good at getting lost. Dad asks, 'What’s the first street we are looking for?'The scenery is beautiful with forested rolling hills and it is a nice enough day. 'Wow,' Mom says, 'you’ll need to pack a lunch when you come out here. It’s quite the trip.''You missed the turn,' shouts Dad. We double back. 'You know,' I say 'Andy and Dionne are always late. We will have to get them started two hours in advance just to make the funeral in time.' Now we are laughing and making 'funeral trip' jokes. 'Oh look,' I say, 'there’s a Garden Ridge Store. I say we stop and shop on the way home.'By the time we reach the funeral home and cemetery we are laughing and complimenting my Dad on his good observational skills in catching our wrong turns. For once, he has found the way.And now I am listening as my parents recount their first meeting and discuss where they want their remains to be located. My Mom’s people are buried on a hill outside of a little town called Valley City in North Dakota. My Dad’s folks are in St. Raymond’s Cemetery in the heart of New York City. Dad votes for Valley City and Mom votes for New York because it’s such an exciting place. More laughter and finally the details are worked out. On the way home we stop and Mom and I shop while Dad patiently waits.We find the perfect item for Mom’s mantle piece and head back home with out treasures. Just before we turn down the street to my parent’s home, my Mom reaches over and touches my arm. 'The next time you take this trip,' she says, 'I want you to remember how much fun we had today and how we laughed. Remember that.'My eyes well with tears, but I smile. I will remember that. I will remember that my parent’s love extended even to those difficult things in life. I will remember that they carefully planned their exit so that those of us who love them so very much will have nothing to think about on that day except all the beautiful memories of our lives with them. Thanks Mom and Dad.............
What Random Act of Kindness Have You Seen? Share it Here.
Have you observed random acts of kindness between someone and a senior? What was it? What made you feel good about it?Last week The New York Times had a story that was one of the site’s 'most read' stories all week. It was about a woman who lives alone in New York City. She’s 101. The paper marveled at how several people who aren’t related to her have created a 'community,' by stopping by to visit, read to her, and drop off chocolate.It was a great story. There are a lot more out there, though. What is a random act of kindness that you’ve witnessed or been a part of that involved a senior and just made you feel good? . . . Please leave it here in the 'comments' section.
The Age Wave: An Opportunity to Live Better, Longer
Below is an article by Ecumen President and CEO Kathryn Roberts, which ran in yesterday’s Saint Paul Pioneer Press:The Age Wave: An Opportunity to Live Better, LongerAbout 70 people young and old recently met for two days at the Citizens League’s offices in St. Paul to brainstorm how to improve health care, communities and the state budget. Here’s what these people had in common: All were aging and see it as transformative opportunity for the marketplace and public policy.Why is it so important for citizens, businesses, policymakers, health care providers and others to focus on aging and transformation? I answer with another question: How do you want to live?Government nursing homes have been the cornerstone of Minnesota’s long-term care system since the 1960s. Medicaid €” called Medical Assistance in Minnesota €” doesn’t cover the cost of care. An inefficient, outdated system leads to a continuous state budget battle over nickels and dimes that never catches up with costs.Those nickels and dimes nonetheless add up. Long-term care is a big, fast-growing budget item. At $1.5 billion, it has almost doubled since 2000, with $7 of every $10 going to government nursing homes rather than less expensive services such as at-home or assisted living.Minnesota is stuck in a time warp at the worst possible time: a permanent shift in the age of our state’s population.In 2011, baby boomers begin turning 65. In 2020, Minnesota’s seniors will outnumber children. The largest-growing population group is the 'old-old,' those 85 and older. And, if obesity trends don’t reverse, we’ll see more disabled young people.
Absent innovation, government spending for long-term care in Minnesota could easily exceed $20 billion by 2050.We can’t change demographics. We can change how we live and pay for the privilege. We have to. A new age demands new solutions.That’s what the Citizens League workshop was about. Ideas included:
Ecumen Changing Aging Poll: Do You Think Alzheimer’s Will Be Cured in Your Lifetime?
Four years after the debut of the Emmy-winning 'The Forgetting,' Public Television (The Forgetting was produced by Twin Cities Public Television) is re-airing the original on Sunday, with an additional 30-minute segment hosted by David Hyde Pierce, better known as TV Frasier’s persnickety brother Niles (Pierce’s father and grandfather had the disease.).
Take Our Changing Aging Poll
Almost 10% of Americans over 65 now have the disease, leading us to this poll question:[poll id='2']
New Study Says Adults With Dementia Don’t Like Being Spoken to as Babies … . You’re Kidding Me?
So today there’s a headline I received from a University of Kansas study, and I don’t know about you, but I found it disturbing that we even have such a study …Conducted by researchers at the University of Kansas, the study found that cognitively impaired people react badly when spoken to as if they were infants. Researchers videotaped 20 people with moderate dementia to discover their reactions to demeaning dialogue. Adults who were talked down to were twice as likely to resist care - by crying out, hitting, kicking, yelling or other methods - than those who were spoken to as adults.The article about the study went on to say that when they are spoken to in elderspeak,' they may feel they are not getting the respect they feel they deserve, but are unable to communicate their distress, so they act out in disruptive ways.Elderspeak? Baby Talk? People are people and should be treated with the utmost dignity, even when their mind suffers from dementia … your thoughts?
How Old? July 29, 2008
Actor Robert Hanson (Wagon Train') is 84.Neal Doughty of REO Speedwagon is 62.Geddy Lee, singer in Rush, is 55.Documentary maker Ken Burns is 55.And Patti Scialfa with Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band is 55.
Register for the Ecumen Age Wave Event by Aug. 6th
For our Twin Cities-area readers:If you’d like to sign up for the Age Wave event we’re hosting on August 13th, please sign up by August 6th here.Ecumen, the Citizens League, 2020 Conference and Minnesota Chamber of Commerce are hosting Nebraska State Treasurer Shane Osborne and Trent Fellers, who directs Nebraska’s new Long-Term Care Savings Plan. They will share details of Nebraska’s new tax deferred savings plan for long-term care. It’s the first and only savings plan of its kind in the country.The event is from 8-9 a.m. on Aug 13th. Continental breakfast will be provided. And it’s free. Ecumen CEO Kathryn Roberts will provide introductory remarks. It will be held at the Wilder Foundation’s new headquarters right between Minneapolis and Saint Paul.
How Old?, July 28, 2008: Mick Jagger Celebrates 65
Actually, Mick hit 65 yesterday, but we’re going to throw him in today’s birthday list.Others celebrating today, include:Keyboardist Rick Wright of Pink Floyd is 65.Garfield cartoonist Jim Davis is 63.Actress Linda Kelsey (Lou Grant) and Twin Cities-area resident is 62.Singer Jonathon Edwards is 62.And actress Sally Struthers is celebrating 60.
Secrets of Living Beyond 100 - A Blue Zone in New Richmond, Wisconsin
Dan Buettner should have gone to New Richmond, Wis.Buettner has created a company called Blue Zones, which is selling the 'product' of longevity. He’s traveled to a bunch of countries to learn 'secrets of longevity' and keys to living longer. The Blue Zones web site says they’ve developed a program to help you feel better, look younger, and avoid 70% of the diseases that will kill you before your timeWe didn’t travel to Sardinia or Taiwan. Instead we went across the river to Wisconsin and talked with one of Ecumen’s customers 106-year-old Marion Davidson. What she told us echos some of what Buettner and other longevity researchers have said, but it also doesn’t:- Forget the Red Wine: We’ve all heard about how red wine is beneficial. Marion never drank it. She said she had alcohol once and got sick and said 'never again.'- Exercise, Never Did it: Marion isn’t big on exercise like Ecumen customer Hardy Rickbeil. Never has been.Diet? Marion has always eaten what she’s always wanted to eat. No special diets. She even admitted as a kid she sometimes at the fertile dirt of Forest Lake, Minn.A Very Religious Person: This is where Marion does connect with some of the research done by various longevity researchers. Marion is an extremely religious person. She loves a great sermon.Likes Optimism: Her two favorite presidents during her lifetime? New Deal inventor FDR and Ronald Regan.Marion will soon be 107.